Love and pain
by Marikspanda
Summary: Ryou is in love with Yugi but Yugi doesnt love him back. How will Ryou cope? WARNING coarse language and gay makeout sessions


_**BAKURA**_

"Do do lalala do do lalala Do do lalala Do do lalala-"

"Shut up that infernal contraption, Ryou!" My squall penetrates the annoying chants of the kuriboh, interrupting Ryou's giggles causing him to jump.

"But Bakura! It's funny!" Ryou weakly protested.

"I don't care! Turn it off!"

"How do you even hear it in there?" Ryou asks inquisitively. To be honest, it was a fair question. I, Bakura, was hidden deep in my room. But of course this question annoyed me, as did all things my Hikari did or asked, Bakura what's this? Bakura how do you do that? Bakura why did you send that door-to-door salesman to the shadow realm? It was quite a complicated question to answer, so I decide to put it in simplest way I knew (just so Ryou could understand something, which is not very often).

"Because," I answered slowly, "everyone in the fricking seventh hell could hear that annoying racket, so why do you think I couldn't" Ryou hesitates

"Th-the kuriboh is pestering the pharaoh. So, uummm... it's funny?" Ryou suggests

"WHAT? You didn't mention that! That changes everything! Let me out! Maybe this monstrosity isn't as bad as I thought I was." I barge in, ignoring his squeaks of protest. _Ok, replay_.

_**RYOU**_

Drat and blast it all! Bakura's back home. Oh well, at least he is just watching some stupid video not destroying the world. _Sigh_. Something I find normal in my life then Bakura comes out and I can't look at it the same way again. I sneak out of my dreadfully boring soul room to spy on Bakura.

"Hello, 'Kura." Bakura jumped at the sound of my voice. Odd, he usually hears me before I say anything.

"Bloody hell, Yadounushi. Don't sneak up on me like that; you nearly gave me heart attack!" He snaps at me. I frown.

"Why didn't you hear me like you usually do?"

"I am busy, Ryou, go play or whatever you do when I take over."

"Fine." I sigh.

_**THREE DAYS LATER**_

"Hey, Bakura! Wanna come to the arca-"Yugi's excited chattering slowed to a stop as he noticed that it was not his friend Ryou asleep at the keyboard of his computer but his Yami. Slowly pulling his head up, Bakura turned to glare at the wide-eyed teen.

"Wait, just a moment, I shall go get him for you. Not. Go away, you pointy haired freak!" Bakura snarled. _Bakura, that isn't very nice. Switch me out! _My voice echoes in his head. "You should know this by now I don't like to play nice, Yadounushi." My Yami replies lazily, "And I shan't switch you out because I do not feel like it."

"Bakura, is Ryou able to come to the arcade for only a couple of hours?" Yugi asks timidly, nearly earning a book to the head for his efforts. _Stop it! I don't throw books at your friends!_ I scream in his head.

"What friends, Yadounushi? And a better question than that is why would you throw a book, Ryou, it doesn't seem your style to voluntarily get yourself a boot in the head." Bakura chuckles. _Touché_. _Let me out, I am bored out of my mind!_ "Welcome to my world, innocent Ryou." During this conversation you might think someone would have noticed that the millennium puzzle was glowing or that Atem was quietly making his way to the computer plug. "Hey!" My Yami all but screamed at Atem. Using all of my strength while he was distracted I launched myself out of the ring and into my own body.

"Nice one, Aibou." I heard the faint whisper of Yugi to his Yami. I felt a great longing as I watched the way they acted around each other, almost brotherly, unlike Bakura who acted as though he hated me. I just want him to like me, is that too much to ask?

"Why did you throw a book at my Hikari, Bakura?" Atem shot me an accusing glare, my face grew red.

"I didn't, it was Yami!" I protest, why of all people did he have to throw a book at Yugi? Why not Joey, he would have probably deserved it, I mean, hell even I would throw a book at Joey.

"(Sigh) Why? Wait do I really want to know, Aibou?" Said Atem, still sounding annoyed. "Why was Yugi here anyway? He won't give me a straight answer."

"Um… I Th-think he w-wanted me to go to the arcade with him." I stutter out.

"Ok, what was so hard about that, Panda?" Atem's tone softens as he speaks to his soul partner. "Fine, go run along and play I shall see you later." The millennium puzzle flashes again and the tall serious Yami was replaced by the wide-eyed hobbit-like grinning Yugi.

"Thanks for covering for me, Ryou!" Yugi says quickly. "Now let's go!"

"Wait… Wha? We aren't going to the arcade?" My worst fears were confirmed by the pointy-haired teen smiling and shaking his head. "Bloody hell; remind me to never to trust midgets again!"

"Hey, it's genetics!" Yugi shrieks, still laughing at my obviously confused expression. "It's nearly a year since I met Yami so I decided to get him a present."

"And… What does that have to do with me?"

"Well, as it turns out the date also coincides with yours and Bakura's meeting and I just thought it would be cute." _Of course, Yugi should know when things are cute_. A familiar voice hisses in my head. Bugger off, Bakura; I just want to be alone with Yugi today. I mentally snap back. _Fine, touchy today, wait you are being touchy with Yugi. Hahaha._ Shut up, Bakura. _Hahaha. _His laughter fades to silence as I feel him leave my side.

"Okay, let's go."

"How about this?" Yugi holds up a pair of leather pants.

"Yeah, he will put them in his closet with his fifty other pairs." Yugi's face crumpled a bit when I said this so I quickly glanced around and picked up gi-huge-ic yu-gi-oh card with dark magician on it.

"OMG, OMG that is so totally freaking awesome!" Yugi jumped up and down like a rabid squirrel on drugs. Don't ask. "But what about something for Bakura?"

"Um… something that isn't sharp and pointy, something that doesn't involve fire, something that isn't a heavy book, and something that isn't able to blow up. Oh and something that isn't beige, he is allergic."

"O-Kay… what about this?" he says holding up a red sphere.

"What in the name of buggery is it?"

"It's a ball, Ryou," Yugi answered slowly like he was talking to a small child, "you know, they bounce. Are all British children so deprived?"

"Honestly Yugi, you think Bakura would use a ball for anything other than annoying and/or evil deeds."

"Touché. What are Bakura's hobbies?"

"Besides killing people, hurting people and destroying the world?"

"Obviously."

"Um… annoying the pharaoh. Annoying me. And I suppose eating steak. Oh and throwing stuff across the room."

"Oh, dear. This is going to be hard." _Don't you know it, hobbit-boy. _I told you to shut up! _But it is funny watching you find something I would like. _Go away! It's meant to be a surprise! _Fine_. I wait for him to leave before I do anything.

"I know." I announce triumphantly, walking to the pet store.

"What! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FREAKING MIND?" Yugi screams at me, unsuccessfully dragging me back to the warehouse.

"Apparently" I mutter still storming towards the store. I search around till I found what I was looking for. A dog toy in the shape of an Egyptian pharaoh. When Yugi found me again I was still unable to control the laughter bubbling out of me.

"Of course." Yugi sighs.

I walk with Yugi back to the Kame game shop, where he insisted that I come in and wrap up Bakura's present with him as he wrapped up Atem's. We decided to give the others Yami their gift, just so it would be fun to see Bakura's expression.

"Today was fun." Yugi says quietly. "We should do that again some time." I look up at him abruptly. What was he on about? "I mean, I never have really said this before but I think I really like you."

"What the bloody hell are you about? What about Tea?"

"What are **you** on about? Tea? Honestly? I meant I like you as a friend. As a best friend perhaps. But not in the way you are thinking." Yugi giggles.

"Oh, ok, um… I should probably say this I really like you too. Not as a friend or a best friend." I heard myself to utter, my face going red. Yugi's face fell. Not going well.

"Ryou, that isn't something to joke about. And I am not gay! " He looked as though he was about to burst into tears, I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms and tell him everything is and will be okay.

"I wasn't joking." I utter as I stand up and walk out the door with Yami's gift, without realizing.

"Ryou, wait." I hear Yugi cry out but I ignore him, I can never face him again. I round the corner and I run into Joey, Tristan and Tea. I run straight through them, not noticing their confused faces staring at me as I run down the road crying. I run to mine and Bakura's secret spot in the park, in a clearing amides the pines. Bakura had found it while trying to avoid me while I was playing tag with him. I just go there to think now.

"Hey, I found you! What's wrong?" said a breathless Tea. I jump, no one is meant to know where the spot is. I fight the urge to scream and run. I just breathe in raggedly. "It's ok, Bakura." That was where I snapped.

"DON'T CALL ME BAKURA! MY NAME IS RYOU! AND IT IS NOT OK!" I scream at her astounded face. "It never will be ok." I whisper, I feel the tears streaming down my face but I don't care anymore. I collapse to my knees; Tea crouches next to me and pulls me into a hug.

"Ryou, what's wrong? You can tell me, sweetie." She whispers into my hair after a long while. I pull away from her.

"It's Yugi." I whisper, oh, so close to tears.

"What did he do? Did he hurt you? If he did then I swear-"

"He didn't hurt me, at least not physically." I interrupt her. "I think I am going to go home now." I pull myself to my feet quickly causing Tea to stumble. I run out of the clearing before she could stop me. I run the whole way home and collapse on my bed, sobbing. _What is wrong, 'Kura?_ An urgent voice says in my head, I choose to ignore Bakura I am not in the mood for his ranting and ravings._ You have to tell me what is wrong so I can go out and kill the person that hurt you. _It was intended as a joke but it makes me want to cry even more. _Please, what is it! I can't bear seeing you upset. _It was Yugi. Even in my mind I sound weak. _What? That pointy-haired freak?_ _He wouldn't be able to hurt a fly. What did he do? Take your favorite card?_ Bakura scoffs in my mind. I stay quiet. _I am_ _sorry, Aibou. What did that bloody wanker do to my favorite Hikari?_ Aibou? Favorite Hikari? I would have squealed and jumped around the room if I wasn't so upset. "I… I… I think I love him." _Oh, I see. That is a problem why?_ "He… he… he doesn't love me." I whisper as though there were other people in the room. _That Bloody Wanker! I will fricking send him to the shadow realm! He deserves to go to the fricking seventh hell! I don't care about Atem, he can go- _

"Yes, Bakura? What can I go do?" a serious voice says from the doorway, making me jump. "I am sorry. Did I startle you, Ryou?" Atem says to me in the gentle tone I have only ever heard him use around Yugi.

"No," I say, "Yes." I admit finally.

"Go away and take that bastard Hikari with you!" a shout erupted from the millennium ring.

"Shut up, Bakura." Back to serious Atem again. He looks up at me, his violet eyes probing my mind. "Do you want me to leave, Ryou?"

"Yes… No… Maybe… I don't know!" I say as I burst into a fresh round of tears. My breath catches in my throat as The Pharaoh sits next to me on my messy unmade bed and puts his arms around me.

"What the bloody hell do you think you are doing to my Hikari, you freaking bastard!" Bakura screams at Atem. "GET AWAY FROM HIM! Take a hint; he hates you after what your bloody Hikari did to him." Atem pulled away his arms, and looked at me sadly and leaves. I ran to the bathroom, I just couldn't cope I was going to vomit. I pulled a towel to my face and screamed like a banshee. _Ryou? Aibou? _"Go away!" silence. _Are you ok?_ "Does it bloody sound like I am ok?" I cry hysterically. _What can I do to help?_ "Nothing. Just leave me alone." _If it's any consolation, the girl, Tea, is here. _"What? How did she get in?"_ you left the door open._ "Oh, ok." _Should I make her leave?_ "N…no, I will go and see her." _If you wish. _ I rise slowly to my feet; I grab the door handle noticing my hands were shaking horribly. "Tea?" I call.

"No, sorry she is not here. Just me." Hearing that voice makes me want to vomit again. It was Yugi. I crumple to my knees as Yugi runs into my room.

"You." I whisper.

"Yes, me." He whispers back, his arms around me.

"I can't take this! I am sorry! I really can't! Bloody hell, Ryou! I love you as well!" an anguished cry jolts me into reality and I push away from Yugi. "How can you still love him if he hurt you so much? Please, I love you so much it hurts me so much to see you with him."

"Bakura? Really? Is that how you feel about me?"

"Yes, it is." I may be hearing things but I heard a sob coming from my Yami. My Aibou.

"Why did you lie to me about Tea being here?" I mumble.

"Because you love him and I didn't know I would feel so strongly. But you choose who you love, I will always stand by you no matter what." Bakura answers in a small voice.

"Choose him, Ryou. It's obvious that he loves you with his entire existence. He has waited over three thousand years for this and I have just sixteen." Yugi tells me sadly. "It's ok, I have Yami."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just kiss me first." He leans over to me and there was a joyous second where our lips met but he pulled away quickly. "There, He isn't to tainted for you, Bakura." He turned to leave but I held onto his arm.

"I do love you but maybe we can stay more than just friends but less than lovers?" I murmur.

"Yes… I would like that."

"Can you just switch with Atem? I have to give him something." I shield my eyes as the puzzle glowed and Atem was standing in front of me.

"Yes, Ryou?"

"Here, this from Yugi." I push his gift into his hands.

"And this, I presume, is for Bakura." He gently hands me the gift. "See you tomorrow." A second later, he was gone. _What is it, 'Kura? Tell me! Tell me! Don't keep me in suspense!_ I giggle and the ring glowed and I was behind Bakura who was opening his gift like a child at Christmas.

"Thank you so much! It is perfect! All I need now is darts!" I hug him, catching him off guard. We fell onto the bed, laughing then my world exploded with colours. The love stories say that it the best experience in the world, they lied; it is the best experience in the entire universe. Bakura, my Yami and Aibou, kissed me. His lips never left mine as our passion was poured into this one, magical kiss. There was a knock on the door and we reluctantly pull apart.

"Fuck them. They can wait." Bakura whispered to me, I stifle a hysterical giggle. Yami pulls him towards him and we kissed each other hungrily, grasping each other like a drowning man would a barge. Suddenly in bursts Yugi, his face falls.

"Is this what you do, Ryou. Break some ones heart then start making out with the other guy. That's just fucking fantastic, isn't it?" Yugi screams at me with tears spilling over his eyelids. He wipes them away with his fist.

I couldn't stop the tears running down my face. Aibou stops and stares at me. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he says urgently.

"No, it's just that I love you so much. I can't bear to lose you. I think you should go." I gasp, through sobs.

"Why, my love?" he mummers softly. He grips me tightly, his voice muffled by my hair. "I need you. You are my existence."

"Please, I just want you to go." Bakura's eyes search for any sign of joking but they fell as he could not find any.

"Very well, Ryou, if that's what you want."

"I'm sorry, Aibou. Please forgive me." I blurt out. He stops and stares at me, I see a flash of hurt flick through his eyes but as quickly as it came it was gone.

"Why are you sorry, Ryou? You haven't done anything wrong." And with that he was gone. I lean against my door frame, inwardly screaming at myself for being so stupid. I sink to my knees and I felt the thud of the door before I felt any pain in my head. Again and again I hit my head, trying to rid myself of all memories of Bakura and Yugi. The only two people I have ever loved so passionately in my life. Suddenly I can't move and my vision fades to black and the last thing I remember seeing is the floor rushing up to meet me. [W.N should this be the end? if not I will keep the stuff below]

_**BAKURA**_

That bastard. He just left me, I thought he loved me. He just told me to go away. That fucking bastard. I hate him more than I have anything else. Even the pharaoh. He is always so happy, it probably didn't faze him that he hurt me. That he hurt Yugi. "Bakura! Bakura! Let me in! It's Marik." A loud voice calls urgently from my locked door.

"Piss off, I am not in the fucking mood." I yell.

"Please let me in. Its Ryou, he is hurt. Maybe even dead." Marik calls and I hear him even start to breathe raggedly like he was trying not to cry.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I scream as I fling open the door. "Where is he?"

"He is at his house. I saw him his room lying in on the floor in a pool of blood that was coming from his forehead." I didn't answer I just ran. Ran to Ryou's house, I bang on the door. I hope that what Marik was wrong but my worst fear was confirmed as the door was not answered. I grab my key to Ryou's house and open the door. The smell of blood was overwhelming and… No! He couldn't be dead. His limp body lying on the floor like a discarded toy, his forehead was red and bloody. I kneel next to him and scream to the heavens. In bursts Yugi, his eyes red and puffy and he starts crying again as he walks into the room.

"How did this happen?" he whispers to me, his eyes wide.

"I don't know! Do you have a phone? He is still alive, only just. He needs medical attention."

"Ok, here. I can't do it." I call for an ambulance as Yugi sits with my Ryou stroking his shaggy blood soaked hair. Nurses rush in and take Ryou away from us as we protest loudly and, in my case, vulgarly.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Ryou." Says a usually loud Joey quietly. Tea was sobbing soundlessly and Tristan was comforting her in the waiting area of the emergency room. The nurses came back and said it he lost a lot of blood and had concussion but other than that he was fine. They said it seemed to be an attempted suicide.

"Why? Why, Ryou? You stupid, stupid boy." I say later while in his room while I stroke his hair. He seems to stir, I jump back in surprise. He opens his eyes at the speed of a snail-crossed-with-a-turtle-on-marijuana. Which is very slow, don't ask how I know this but I do.

"Because I thought you and Yugi hated me, I couldn't bear that. I love you both with all my heart, you know that?" he says in a minute voice just above a whisper. He was about to say something else but I interrupt.

"Just hold that thought." I say quickly shaking awake Yugi.

"Wha…?" he mutters sleepily.

"Wake up you, dofus. Ryou is awake!" that seemed to wake him instantly like he just had five cups of coffee at once.

"I love you both. Bakura, come closer I won't bite!" he giggles, somehow it causes me and Yugi to erupt into a fit of laughter. Of course Ryou and the nurses stare at us like we were insane. Which in a way, we are. Ryou leans over and hugs me and Yugi. I kiss him on the forehead softly, avoiding the stitches. Despite the fact that he loves Yugi as well I don't this moment to change. It is perfect. Apart from the fact Ryou was in hospital, of course. J


End file.
